A Personal Paean for President Holland

Like many others, I felt an ominous shadow in the announcement that Elder Holland had gone back into the hospital and heartbroken at his death. It feels selfish to want him to remain alive but in pain and without his wife, and yet. Elder Holland made an impact on my life in ways others have not.

Somehow as a missionary in the very early days of the Internet, I found some of his speeches from his time as BYU President. These struck me much harder than General Conference talks, probably because speakers at BYU devotionals know their audience is largely LDS and college-educated,  and speakers have 45 minutes to develop a topic. I quickly had up on my wall motivational quotes from President Holland.  I read or listened to For Times of Trouble  and others countless times.

I also managed to find a copy of his talk “A Standard Unto My People,” (full text)  unique because of the audience (CES teachers) and circumstances; between the time he was asked to speak and his delivery of the talk, he was called as an Apostle. I learned that he’d completed a PhD at Yale after writing a BYU MA thesis on text criticism of the Book of Mormon.

Location of the dedication of Belgium; a large rock in three parts, in a clearing surrounded by twelve paths.

Towards the end of my mission, he came to Belgium.

Borrowed from the Church News article, Elder Holland on the right on his mission in England c. 1960.

All us missionaries on the French side went up, as it turned out Belgium had never been dedicated. He spoke at a missionary meeting, and told of his own mission. As I recall, he said extremely relatable things. “I was so unprepared; I landed in England and had one suit, which was green. I don’t know why my mission president didn’t just run himself through with a saber and save himself the trouble.” Elder Holland had the fire to preach, and he had to work to keep his rhetoric in check. Like me, he apparently “writes hot” and has to tone it down. As I recall, he also said we make a mistake in thinking of the temple  merely as a stepping stone to a mission (or marriage); no, he said, the temple endowment is the peak, and a mission is merely the aftermath of living out our covenants.

All of this was helpful to me as I began my own very long slog towards becoming a scholar. I felt that there was a Church leader who “got me,” someone who had been to MY there and done MY that, instead of law, business, or accounting.

I had one indirect experience with him on that path. Several years ago while researching my dissertation, I learned that sometime around 1980, as new BYU President, Elder Holland set up a meeting with him, Henry Eyring (new Church Commissioner of Education), and Harden Eyring to sit down in Henry Eyring Sr.’s office at the University of Utah for a friendly discussion on evolution, pre-adamites, and the age of the earth.  The conversation lasted several hours. Moreover,  Holland recorded it, and there is a transcript of this conversation somewhere. (Insert surprised historian face who really really wants to find this source.)

Since I’d already been through all the relevant archives it might have been, I reached out to both Apostles’ offices. After some formal back and forth that neither office knew of a copy, I heard from Elder Holland’s secretary in some very unsecretary-like language.  “Leave no stone unturned.” I still haven’t found a copy, but I’m still looking, and it feels like he encouraged me to do so.

His BYU talk Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence convinced my wife to marry me. So I owe a personal debt.

I think Elder Holland was our best preacher, and I suspect that was due in part to personality and in part to a love of literature and history so deep he pursued it for a PhD in American Studies. Regardless, I loved it and felt it deeply. I wrote about his impact on me  at times, such as here.

A great light has been extinguished, and his voice will be missed.